Lean Manufacturing Blog

It’s only been in recent years that society has accepted the fact that a substantial number of new mothers become depressed in the weeks and months after the arrival of their babies. Growing evidence is mounting that new fathers also experience nearly the same type of postpartum depression as their partners. They, too, can feel a sense of stress and depression when transitioning into their new parental responsibilities.

Men have traditionally been viewed as the “rock” of the family, and of society itself – unable to express emotion or admit weakness, feeling only a drive for power and success. That old-world mindset is rapidly changing. Men are becoming empowered to admit their true feelings on issues their forefathers wouldn’t have dared to address, including the depression they sometimes feel following the birth of a child.

“Mommy- Muse” Christy Cuellar-Wentz recently interviewed men’s mental health professional Dr. Will Courtney to unearth some valuable insight on this condition that often plagues new fathers. He said, “So often, parents expect this experience of “baby bliss” that everyone suggests parenting is going to be like. Then, suddenly, this screaming, helpless infant is in their laps and they don’t know what to do to calm this baby or soothe it. Suddenly, things start feeling a lot more difficult than they ever expected.” A rising social mindset is allowing new fathers to express their feelings more truthfully. This is finally shedding light on paternal postnatal depression, unrecognized until now.

Parenthood is a profound event – whether experienced from the male or female point of view. The transition from being a couple to being a family can be an enormous challenge. Although the majority of men report a deep satisfaction with being a father, they do report that the transition from being “just a man” to being a dad is a frustrating, scary, daunting experience that requires massive adjustment. Men’s postpartum depression can become quite severe, requiring mental health counseling from a qualified practitioner who understands the trials of new fatherhood and knows how to help.

Sadness, loss of interest, and crying – symptoms that might accompany a new mom during postpartum depression are not atypical of the new father undergoing the same issues and dealing with postpartum depression. Men are notorious for masking their true feelings, so a man’s outward signs may be a bit hard to detect. The best clues to a possible onset of the condition are signs that something has changed in a challenging way, or a feeling that something isn’t quite “right” in his behavior.

Men may also try to avoid parenting altogether, according to Dr. Courtney. “I’m hearing a lot from new dads about the experience of not being able to tolerate being around the baby. They can’t stand the baby’s cries, the screaming; they say it makes them crazy. Or, they can’t stand to smell the baby, or to even see it or hold it. Typically, men feel horribly guilty about feeling that way, and also very confused because this is not what they were told to expect with the birth of their child. All they really know to do is to try to get away from the thing that is kind of making them feel all of these things. They end up spending as much time as they can at the office.”

Both new fathers and new mothers can take a proactive stance before the baby arrives (or after the birth) to combat postpartum depression, including: Accept the reality that post-partum depression is a clinically diagnosable condition – not a myth. If a man (or woman) has a history of other forms of depression, mental health counseling should be sought before the arrival of the new baby. Many couples have issues in regards to communication. Counseling specifically to address those communication problems before, during, or after the pregnancy can help to open up lines of communication and allow couples to support each other more easily. Because so much of the stress that families undergo is related to their financial situation, the implementation of a budget prior to the birth of their child is advisable to alleviate some of the issues that the couple has going forward into parenthood. Establishing a network of reliable support is imperative. Decide in advance who can be counted on to help out when the going gets tough.

Perhaps the most important bit of advice that can be given to new fathers and mothers when it comes to postpartum depression is to understand that it is a completely natural condition, nothing to be ashamed of. Counseling and treatment of postpartum depression is available. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but a mark of intelligence and the sign of a truly caring parent.

Written by Christy Cuellar-Wentz